Is Success Eluding You?

Feel overlooked in life? Ever start a new diet or fitness program but quit after two weeks? Do you feel you give your best but in the end, things still do not go your way? If these frustrations sound familiar, then I feel there needs to be a deeper conversation within yourself because the truth of the matter is we attract based on who we are, not what we want.

For the last ten years my favorite college football team has been the University of Alabama. I live in the Midwest, so I don’t have any allegiance to the school nor the region. However, I have always been a huge fan of head coach, Nick Saban. He is a true leader of men, a teacher, a person that consistently raises the bar and refuses to take shortcuts or make excuses.

In October 2023, I vividly recall one of his press conference interviews. His message that day struck a chord with me because it spoke to my inner self who runs towards challenges; never away. Saban said in life we have 5 choices:

• “We can be bad at what we do.” Not the greatest choice, but a choice, nonetheless.

• “We can be average at what we do.” This is the equivalent of “going along to get along.” Minimal effort can get you there.

• “We can be good at what we do.” Saban says if we use our God-given talent, without any extra effort, it is likely we’ll be able to achieve “good.”

• “We can be excellent” at what we do.

• “We can be elite” at what we do.

His words were inspiring to me because it made me realize we influence more than we originally have thought. It is easier for us to blame others or make excuses than to look in the mirror and admit our failures. Avoidance is unhealthy as it destroys growth and productivity. It’s human nature that we place our identity onto performance. Because of that it can be soul crushing (yet humbling!) to recognize you aren’t the best version of yourself that you thought you were. So, to circle back on the feeling of giving your best but not seeing results begs the question – Are you giving average, excellent, or elite effort?

One of the bigger mistakes people make is they don’t understand how to improve themselves. They want a better life for themselves and hope for more positive outcomes, however figuring out these steps to accomplish their goals becomes blurry or lost. This is why I believe success becomes more attainable when we focus our attention and energy on two things – Critical Thinking & Discipline.

Critical Thinking

A struggle that I see people failing in is the ability to learn. When you don't change your behavior, yet the situation remains constant, then you haven't learned. When a person is a critical thinker, they can lift themselves from tough/emotional situations because they move forward with logic, solutions, and remove their ego. They listen to understand all points of view compared to making quick statements just for the sake of speaking. True self-awareness is one of the greatest superpowers we can have. An overinflated ego negatively impacts us because it gives people tunnel vision. This means, we don’t see things as they are; we see them as we are.

We sometimes overvalue ourselves and an example of this is in the workplace. Many of us believe we perform at an “excellent” or “elite” level. But never truly go above and beyond on projects. Don’t seek opportunities for growth or ask for constructive criticism. Or worse, when given a chance to showcase talent and skills, they refuse to do so unless given a raise or compensation. The order is completely wrong. You must first do then you get; you don't get and then you'll do. A person with this mindset can never be counted on - you won't ever win with team members with these lazy standards.

This brings me to the notion of Performance vs. Completion Contingence (Performance refers to rewards given for the quality or outcome of a task while Completion refers to rewards given simply for finishing a task). Doing the work and doing the work well are two vastly different approaches. The corporate world is not professional sports where you often get paid on potential. You must be a proven commodity. That is how you separate yourself from others.

When I think back on my personal/professional growth, I had to incorporate critical thinking into my game planning. For example, during my fitness journey, I was working out 4x a week as well as being mindful on walking and moving more. Yet, I was still not fully satisfied with my results. Instead of quitting or accepting the outcome, I dug my heels deeper. I became reflective and critical on my actions so that I could identify what areas I needed to focus on. This process led me to needing to put a higher attention on my nutrition. To get what I wanted; to achieve my goals, I needed to adjust my fitness strategy and increase my commitment.

Discipline

My mantra in life is simple – How you do Anything is how you do Everything. This is about how you show up. Raising your standards. It’s about not disappointing yourself. One of the most powerful forces in life is consistency. It needs to be understood that it's not what you do, rather it's how long are you willing to do it for. That's what makes a person special. Being able to do hard things over and over. Aristotle states, "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit."

A harsh reality is that people often will sacrifice what they want most for what they want right now. Undisciplined people do dumb things.

We all have wants, goals, and desires. For some, it may look like wanting to lose 20lbs, save $10K this year, or advance in their career. But the first (or second) sign of adversity or challenges and they give up. Your actions tell your story. Yes, results are important, but no one talks enough about the process to get those results. Life will always punch you in the face. But it’s about getting up quickly, adjusting, and pushing ahead because you know your determination makes others a little uncomfortable. That’s the level that needs to be achieved. The greatest version of you is the disciplined version of you… love who you are becoming.

When you take yourself seriously, you'll notice others will too. The first step is reflection; understand your shortcomings and create a plan for improving them. Some areas might take longer than others but that is okay. Focus on long-term success while giving yourself credit and grace for small everyday victories. Each win gives you a brick that you’ll use to build your empire.

How does that type of toughmindedness look like? Well, when you spend more time defending your ambition vs. excuses, your existence becomes undeniable. When consistency and sacrifice meet, over time, you elevate yourself personally, physically, emotionally, and professionally. That’s the process for striving to be elite – there is no instant formula. Its knowing and accepting that success demands a series of actions and sacrifices. Pain is the price for progress. Are you willing to sign that contract and fully bet on yourself? That decision is yours to make.

“If you’re going to be excellent or elite, you’ve got to do special things,” Saban says. “You have to have special intensity. You have to have special focus. You have to have a special commitment and drive and passion to do things at a high level and a high standard all the time.”

A final thought on how to achieve ultimate success - to win in life. Understand that excuses are a permission slip that people seek to stay average. If you change one habit, make it that you stop making excuses. Try new things that you feel are hard. Challenge yourself. Stay committed. Consistent. Learn from failures (its evitable) because it's part of the process.

When you own the day, it leads to owning the week, then leads to owning the month. And in time that leads to owning the year. Eventually, you will see with this mindset you will rack up owning numerous years. That how you will win in life. When you move forward with purpose and unconditional focus, the universe and everyone in it feels your presence.